positive--th0ughts
dogscan:

Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.

dogscan:

Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.

girlwithalessonplan

girlwithalessonplan:

cherrispryte:

veronicamarsissmarterthanme:

somekindoftime:

mirahxox:

carlyisaround:

ryanjamesyezak:

This Anna Kendrick Little Mermaid SNL sketch is impossible to find (NBC ran into some legal issues with Disney)… watch while you can!

"Why would I need your hair? Mine is GORGEOUS! I mean it’s white, slicked straight up, & buzzed on the sides."

Dear NBC, it was worth every penny.

ohhhhhmyyyyyyyygodddddddd
this is too fantastic for words.

THIS RUINED MY LIFE

Totally worth it.  

YES.

"My best friends are red and yellow!"

the-church-of-saint-aubergine

iamthedukeofurl:

wholockian-at-hogwarts:

WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????

We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw. 

the-church-of-saint-aubergine

beeishappy:

look-anew-url-again:

I was watching this like “I am so fucking done with this website” AND THEN IT WAS STEPHEN COLBERT

It just hit me how much I watch Colbert. My Mum saw the first gif from afar on my screen (note that she hasn’t actually seen this segment… yet) and she goes ‘Is that Colbert?’ and I asked how she knew and she just looked at me and said ‘I know his body language.’

amis0n
dr-watsons-lover:

maggie-lol:

greatfully:

primarie:


Have a history teacher explain this if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
 
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.Both Presidents were shot in the head.Now it gets really weird.Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.Both were assassinated by Southerners.Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.Both assassins were known by their three names.Both names are composed of fifteen letters.Now hang on to your seat.Lincoln was shot at the theater named “Ford.”Kennedy was shot in a car called “Lincoln” made by “Ford.”Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.And here’s the “kicker”:A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
 
AND……………….:Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse…Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater…
 I saw this had to share just in case anyone did not know.

I WILL NEVER CEASE TO REBLOG THIS

omg

it’s like Lincoln was reincarnated 100 years later but doomed to live basically the same life as before can you imagine all the déjà vu though

This is terrifying

dr-watsons-lover:

maggie-lol:

greatfully:

primarie:

Have a history teacher explain this if they can.


Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
 
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named “Ford.”
Kennedy was shot in a car called “Lincoln” made by “Ford.”

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here’s the “kicker”:

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
 
AND……………….:

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse…
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater…
 
I saw this had to share just in case anyone did not know.

I WILL NEVER CEASE TO REBLOG THIS

omg

it’s like Lincoln was reincarnated 100 years later but doomed to live basically the same life as before can you imagine all the déjà vu though

This is terrifying

wereallstrangersintheend
1021girl:

snickerdoodlesandsausages:

enjolrasactual:

in-love-with-my-bed:

the-winchesters-creed:

ayellowstateofmind:

Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. 

It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.

if you want information it is

and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin

why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?

There’s the hufflepuff

1021girl:

snickerdoodlesandsausages:

enjolrasactual:

in-love-with-my-bed:

the-winchesters-creed:

ayellowstateofmind:

Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. 

It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.

if you want information it is

and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin

why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?

There’s the hufflepuff